he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
