you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
