I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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