she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
