I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
