started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize