you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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