Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
