but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
