i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
