DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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