We're facebook friends in real life
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
