I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
