i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
