I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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