He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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