like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize