My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
