I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
