Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
