So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
