whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
