so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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