Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
