Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
