in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
