Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
