fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
