You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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