we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
