I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
