piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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