Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
