there's paper in my vomit.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
