so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
