So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
