the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
