____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
