Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
