Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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