she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
