I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
