you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
