I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
