i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
is this the sara with the beer cane?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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