operation have a gay friend backfired
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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