I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
