absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
