She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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