I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
