I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
