I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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