We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
