office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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