fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
