I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
