i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
