She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
