It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
