she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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