You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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