I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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